Why Small Talk Doesn’t Have to Be Awkward (And What I’ve Started Doing Instead)

Hi, I'm Erika Willitzer, and as the founder of Small Town Wow, I spend a lot of time in rooms where I’m supposed to be “on”—networking events, community meetings, conferences, you name it. And yet… some of the most awkward moments still happen in the first 30 seconds of a conversation.

Erika Willitzer

You know the ones :“How was your weekend?” “Good.” “Good.”…and we’re done.

No connection. No energy. Just… polite silence.

So when I came across advice from keynote speaker Henna Pryor, it stopped me in my tracks—not because it was complicated, but because it was incredibly simple.

And more importantly? It actually works.

The “Cheat Code” That Changes Everything

According to reporting from Inc., Pryor teaches a three-part framework for small talk that works whether you’re introverted, socially anxious, or just not sure what to say. (Inc.com)

Her approach isn’t about being charming or witty. It’s about paying attention and making conversations just a little more intentional. That’s it.

Here’s What I’ve Started Doing (And Why It Works)

1. Notice Something Specific

Instead of defaulting to generic questions, Pryor suggests picking out one small detail and starting there.

It could be:

• A book on someone’s desk

• A place they just traveled

• Something they’re holding or wearing

Something like:

“I keep seeing that book on your desk—worth the read?”

That one shift changes everything.

Because now you’re not just talking—you’re showing you actually see the person. And that’s what opens the door to real conversation.

2. Ask Better (Not More) Questions

Here’s where I think a lot of us get stuck.

We ask questions… but they’re surface-level: “How are you?” “What do you do?”

Pryor’s approach leans into curiosity instead of routine.

Think:

• “What was the highlight of that trip?”

• “How did you get into that line of work?”

You’re not interrogating—you’re inviting someone to share something meaningful.

And when people feel that? They lean in.

3. Pay Attention (Yes, Really)

This might be the simplest—and hardest—part.

Pryor emphasizes that none of this requires natural charisma. It just requires paying a tiny bit of attention.

And that’s where the magic is.

Because when you:

• Listen instead of waiting to talk

• Follow up instead of switching topics

• Stay present instead of rehearsing your next line

Conversations stop feeling forced.

They start feeling… human.

Here’s the bigger picture.

In small towns, relationships are everything.

• Deals don’t start with contracts—they start with conversations

• Partnerships don’t begin in boardrooms—they begin in passing moments

• Community growth happens because people connect, not just transact

And small talk? That’s the front door to all of it.

If that door feels awkward or closed, opportunities never even get a chance to walk in.

What I’ve Learned (The Hard Way)

You don’t need:

• The perfect opening line

• A big personality

• Or some polished networking script

You just need to:

• Notice something real

• Ask something thoughtful

• And actually listen

That’s it.

And what I’ve found is this—when you shift from “What should I say?” to “What can I notice?”…

Everything changes.

Small talk gets a bad reputation. But it’s not the problem.

Boring, autopilot small talk is the problem.

The kind that doesn’t go anywhere.

What Pryor reminds us—and what I’ve started to see firsthand—is that just a little more intention turns small talk into something bigger:

- A connection

- A relationship

- An opportunity

And in small towns (and honestly, anywhere)… that’s where everything starts.